How do you tell your kids that someone in their life has passed away?

Grieving child

 

My mom was diagnosed with cancer then she passed away less than 6 days later. Telling my kids that their grandmother died was very hard, but it had to be done.

When my oldest child was born, we lived with my parents. That was 15 years ago. I was only 18 and was just out of high school. My parents took a large part in the parenting of my children while they were alive. Living in the same home with grandparents makes lines blur when it comes to parenting/grand -parenting rolls. My kids were always closer to my mom and dad than my nephew who lived 2 hours away from them.

When my youngest daughter was born we moved back into the home with my mom and dad. It was very hard for me to go back home, but for everyone’s safety both mentally and physically it was something that I knew must be done. For 6 months I had much more help than I’d have with the kids for years. If I needed a good night’s rest after being up with the kids night after night, my parents would take one or more of the kids for me to sleep. It really helped me a lot, as a single mom.

A few days before my daughter’s 6-month birthday, my dad was hospitalized and later passed away. My mother drove me to my ex’s house to tell the kids.

How do you tell 4 and 2 year olds that they will never see their grandfather again?
You just do it the best that you know how. Explain to them that their grandfather is in heaven with Jesus. That was what my kids understood more than anything. I was a lot more upset than the kids were when they were that age and lost a grandparent.
Fast forward 10 years and I had gained a husband and 2 step kids when my mother passed away.
I didn’t tell my kids that my mother had cancer until Sunday night before she passed away at 3am on Tuesday. The kids came down to the hospital to see her because she had been asking for them. She was not really mentally at herself that night. She talked to the kids a little, but would fall asleep mid-sentence. She told them all that she loved them and after a few hours of staying with her, they left to go back home.
The next morning my younger kids did not want to go to school because they were worried about their grandmother. My oldest lives with his dad, and he was convinced that my mother would be better. My husband had let his 2 kids know about my mother’s condition by phone. It was so hard on all of us, because we couldn’t all be together.
The next day my husband and I stayed with my mom in the hospital. The later that it got, we decided not to go home because my mother’s condition was getting much worse by the hour. I got to see my mother through her last minutes of life, but the worst thing for me was telling my kids what happened.
At 3am she was pronounced dead and I went to call my oldest son. His dad and I do not have the best relationship, and my 15 year old and I struggle very hard in our relationship because of a lot of the same reasons. So calling his dad to tell him to wake up my son was really hard for me to do emotionally on many, many different levels. It took a few phone calls to get through, but once I did and got to speak to my son it was very hard to tell him what actually happened. No one was looking for this so early. My son took it very well and stayed out of school the next day.
I decided not to tell the younger 2 kids until we made it home. They were staying with my aunt for the night. I woke them up from their slumber and gave them the worst news they had ever had to receive, since my son was 2 years old and my daughter was too young to really remember.
There were a lot of tears from everyone, including my aunt and my older cousin who was there. All in aIl my 13 and 10 year old took things fairly well. They had seen my mom at her worst, and told me that she was with Paw Paw looking down at them. It’s very comforting to know that they are strong in their faith.
My husband had to tell his kids about the bad news over the phone. All I can say is that my husband is a saint for how he handled everything. They were very upset, as they had lost other people that they were close to over the last few years, and really understood the deep grief better than my kids did when we told them. My step daughter was very emotional, and my husband handled it very well from the phone, reminding her of her step-grandmother’s salvation and that we will indeed get to see her again one day.
I don’t know that we handled telling our kids about the death of their grandparents in the correct manner. In fact, I don’t believe there is a correct manner to tell anyone that someone passed away. These days you read about family passing away on Facebook, which is one reason that I called my son at 3am instead of letting him wake up and read it online. I wanted to be the one that told him, not his phone screen or even his dad. This was something personal.
If you ever need to tell your child or step child about the passing of someone close, the first thing to do is to ask for Jesus to speak through you so that you can say what that child needs to hear. Then try to stay as calm as you possibly can, so that the child(ren) will know that you can still be their safety net when something goes wrong. I believe that those are the 2 most important things to do in the event you need to tell any child, or even adult that someone close to them has passed away.
I pray today, that you are filled with wisdom when and if you are ever put into this situation. It is not something that I wish on anyone, but it does happen to the most of us. Try to prepare now about how you would tell your kids something devastating. Ask for wisdom now instead of waiting.

Essential Oils For Sleep

 

I haven’t always had problems sleeping, but with the stress of the last 6 months my 10 year old and I have had many problems staying asleep.  We now use essential oils for sleeping.

For the past few years I have had many problems with sleeping from time to time. I’ve had both OTC and prescriptions to help me sleep. Most help for a short period of time, but nothing has worked every night. Well not until I started using this new blend of essential oils.

After having months of almost constant stress, my daughter started having night terrors. We could get her to sleep, but she would wake up from the terrors and wouldn’t fall asleep for hours, and then it was a fitful sleep. Many nights I ended up in her bed, or she ended up in my bed. This made my sleep problems compound.

For my daughter, we tried lavender essential oil. This had helped in the past to help her ease into sleep. It’s very relaxing. But it wasn’t quite what we needed for the night terrors.

In the past we had used Peace & Calming to help calm my daughter after nightmares. At the time it would take no more than 5 minutes for her to drift off to sleep. It was a life saver! I would recommend this to any and all parents who have kids of any age. Apply to the feet before bed, and kids get the best night’s sleep!

The problem with my daughter was the stress that she was under. She was basically having anxiety attacks at night. Poor kid! I started doing some research, thank God for Google and the EODR (Essential Oil Desk Reference). I found a new blend to try out.

This new blend consisted of a mixture of some of the oils we had tried earlier on. But the combination also helps with depression, anxiety and of course sleep. I knew that this would be on my next order. In fact, I contacted Young Living and ordered this new blend with the points that I saved up, and only paid for shipping. Free makes things so much better! Lol

Anyways, the oil blend that I’m speaking of is RutaVala. You can read all of the details on the oil in the store. This oil comes in a blend and a roll on version. I opted for the roll on, so that we could grab the oil in the middle of the night and roll it onto my daughter without fiddling with a bottle that may turn over and spill.

The first night, I rolled the RutaVala onto the back of my daughter’s neck, near the skull, specifically where the neck has a “hollow” spot. The same night I used the blend on the same place on myself.

The next morning I asked my daughter how she slept. There were no complaints. I had actually awoken up startled because it was daylight and my daughter had not been to my room yet. She had slept all night for the first night in weeks! And the bonus, I had also!

After she used RutaVala for about 10 days, we stopped using it nightly. We only use this on her if she wakes in the middle of the night.

Now only mama needs to use the magic sleeping oil. I get a full nights rest without many problems with waking in the middle of the night. If I do wake up, I roll on the oil as I described above and fall asleep within a few minutes, and stay asleep. Before I was sleeping for an hour, and staying awake for hours. This is helping me get to sleep faster, and stay asleep longer and I don’t worry about it interfering with the next day.

My daughter and I both wake up refreshed, and not groggy the next day! This is unheard of with any OTC or prescription medication that I have taken in the past. My RutaVala stays beside my bed, and if I need to travel, it goes right into my overnight bag.

Relieve Sore Muscles Naturally

 

This is the time of year when we start working out again. Kids are starting back to school and are not use to P.E. class, and all of those laps that they may be running. Sore muscles are something that we all deal with from time to time, and our family’s answer to sore muscles is essential oil.

My son started football practice last week. The first night his legs were so sore that he asked me what oil we could use on his legs. This is not common for him, he’s 12 and has a mind of his own.

We decided to use some olive oil as a carrier oil, and added some Peppermint oil. I massaged his legs and within a few minutes he was out of pain, and he slept like a rock.

Another application method for sore muscles is to use Peppermint oil in your bath water. Start with a handful of Epson Salt then add a few drops of Peppermint to the salts. Sprinkle the crystals under the running water and stir the tub with your hand.

The chemical makeup of Peppermint essential oil is a pre-curser to some of the modern day OTC pain killers. When I started using YL essential oils over a year ago, I experimented with my oils. Pain is the one problem that I had consistently, and Peppermint was the one oil that over delivered every time.

I now use Peppermint for pain for arthritis in my hands and wrists, sore muscles, headaches, sinus pain and so much more. The great thing about using Peppermint instead of and OTC pain killer, is that it is used topical and works within minutes, not a half an hour or longer. Oh and did I mention that there are no problems with it causing acid reflux?! Not at all, because it helps fight acid reflux instead of causing more problems like many things on the market.

Make the change to Peppermint today! 

Would you like to replace ibprophen, or those smelly chemical laden rubs for sore muscles? Peppermint is the perfect place to start making the switch to a more natural medicine cabinet.

If you would like to learn more about essential oils, sign up for our newsletter and get a free report! 

 

Morning Routine

The way your morning routine goes really sets the pace for the day. Using essential oils every morning can help make your day go your way.

There are oils that I have beside my bed for night time use. Maybe my daughter wakes up with a bad dream, or my husband has heart burn. Those oils help us get a good nights rest, but what do we do about the next morning?

One of the first things that I do each morning is drink 3 ounces of NingXia Red.

NingXia Red is what I like to call a natural energy drink that fights back! You can read more about it in the Store.

What you notice when you have had this amazing nectar is not a surge of energy. You don’t get jittery like from all of those energy drinks that you see at the convenience store either. You get a natural energy that lasts. A few hours later you will look back and think to yourself, “Wow, I had the energy to do all of that!”

What I notice the most is that by the afternoon, if I haven’t had my “ninja juice” I am really dragging. That’s why I have this great drink every morning. The next benefit that I really love is that it contains lemon essential oil, which helps protect my body from cancer! How amazing! Please read about all of the benefits of NingXia Red in the store!

The best way to consume NingXia Red is to dilute it in water, to help keep your pH levels lowered. Start with 1 ounce a day and then drink up to 8 ounces a day. My friend LaDonna relied on this great drink throughout her pregnancy, and she is the one who really got me hooked! Heather is using NingXia Red to help with energy, and Fibromyalgia flares.

Most people drink coffee or tea in the mornings. Well, I don’t. Not the way you are thinking anyways.

Peppermint essential oil has so many benefits! Staying alert is one that I like the most. Drinking Peppermint Tea made with essential oil is much better for you than traditional tea or coffee, and the benefits are amazing. Maybe you have heard that Peppermint Tea made from leaves helps with digestion or nausea. How about this little fact. 1 drop of Young Living Peppermint Essential Oil is equal to 24 cups of Peppermint Tea.

In the mornings if you add one cup of Peppermint Tea (from YL oil) to your morning routine, you may be able to reduce the amount of antacids that you have been using, stop relying on caffeine to stay alert in the mornings for your commute or test during first period, or even stop morning sickness while pregnant!

Adding these two products to my morning routine has made a huge impact to my day. I’m not nearly as grouchy, much  more productive even through the afternoon, and I have no problems with heartburn after eating the wrong thing in the mornings. (Bring on the bacon!)

Check out NingXia Red and Peppermint in the store today!

 

 

God’s Abundance

What do you think of when you hear the phrase “God’s Abundance?” The first thing that comes to mind for me is fruits and vegetables, green grass and trees, babies and children playing…a happy, healthy life.

I know that God has touched our family many, many times over the last few years. There’s no other explaining how we have survived this long. 

The very heart and nature and character of God is to provide for us Abundantly.

Wow! Let that resonate with you for a moment. You may ask yourself why? How? There are a lot of questions that come to mind when wondering how and why God chooses to do things, especially providing for us, his children.

The New Testament teaches us that God’s Abundance in our lives is a result of both obedience and grace. If it were not for God’s grace where would any of us be? And for me, because of His grace, I want to be more obedient to him. Don’t you?

When I think of abundance I think of all of the things that God has given us. What do we do with these things? Well we can use them, or not. We can share them, or not. One thing that I have chosen to do is to share with you what I have learned was given to me from God.

God has created such a wonderful world for us to enjoy. God’s abundance is everywhere.

We could argue the point that we are taking advantage of what God has given us, both in good ways and in bad. As American’s I know that we have more than many other nations. The abundance of food alone is outrageous for me to comprehend. The amount of food that is grown in the United States that is produced only for animal consumption is amazing when we think of those that are going hungry.

What I want you to think about today is the things that God has given us that we overlook. God’s abundance.

I have heard of many people only eating a God-made diet. This is a diet where we only eat things that come from the earth, whether fruit, vegetable, mineral, animal…just nothing that has been created by man like Twinkies.

What we often overlook is that God’s abundance also provides us with God-made medicines.

Diet is a wonderful, wonderful thing if you are eating correctly and not eating all of those man made things that we get today. Candy bars were not meant to be eaten as a meal. Fruit, however is something that God provided us with to consume on a regular basis.

Essential oils are made from the very essence of plant material (wood, fruit, leaves, etc.) This is one of the things that I have found that is part of God’s Abundance for us as Christians. God gave us essential oils as his medicine.

Did you know that the Bible refers to essential oils or aromatic plants and aromatic products 1035 times? There are at least 33 Bible reference to essential oil producing plants. God’s Abundance!

My love for essential oils has developed over years, but intensified in 2011 when I found out the significance of essential oils in the Bible and how these same oils can be used today for preventing illnesses, curing disease, and  maintaining a healthy home.

In biblical times, the plants that many of the essential oils that were used, were placed on the floors of homes or buildings. We think that floors were covered with dirt, but they were not! They were covered in plants that contained God’s medicine. As the plants were tread upon, the oils were released and used by the body as God’s way of helping our body’s help themselves.

Today we use essential oils on the bottom of our feet, because of the reflexology points that correspond to the rest of our body. According to researcher Jean Valnet,M.D., an essential oil that is directly applied to the skin can pass into the bloodstream and diffuse throughout the tissues in 20 minutes or less.

In Biblical times, do you think we had the technology to know this fact?! I don’t think it had anything to do with knowing, I think God gave us this gift and showed us how to use it!

We have learned that God’s medicine, essential oils, help with preventing and curing cancer. I use essential oils for bug bites, headaches, fever, and calming my hyper child. I thank God that he has given me these gifts!

For our family we have taken these gifts from God, essential oils, and started using them for what he intended. We have incorporated God’s medicines into our lives and are sharing them with other families. God provides the abundance for our family and for yours. I hope to share more with you on how to use God’s abundance in your family.

Sign up today to receive more information on God’s abundance and how to use essential oils in your home. 

 

Giveaway: Peppermint Essential Oil

I’m so excited to be giving away a bottle of my favorite essential oil! If you’ve been following me on Facebook the last few days, you would have seen a few of the ways that we use Peppermint oil in our home:

 

‎#1 Use 1 drop of Peppermint oil in a mug of hot water instead of tea. 1 drop equals 24 bags of peppermint tea!

‎#2 Use Peppermint oil to flavor your water. Great flavor and combats acid reflux!!

‎#3 Inhale Peppermint oil or from the palms of your hands to help with nausea.

There are many more ways to use this amazing oil on your skin, internally, or just from inhalation (aromatherapy)! Just watch out for new tips daily on our Facebook Page!

Peppermint is the #1 oil to have in your medicine cabinet, purse and in your first aid kit! It is one of the most versatile oils that we use in our family.

I’m giving one 15mL Young Living Therapeutic grade bottle of Peppermint essential oil this month! Its a great way to try out the oils.

Don’t wait to win! Order your bottle today from the Essential Oil Store and save!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

 

Combating Stress and Depression

 

Christi Daugherty

A few weeks ago I decided to give up depression for Lent. I’ve done pretty well, although some days are tougher than others. Like today. As you can see by the picture above, my life can get a little hectic, especially with all of the kids at home. I love my big family, but some days can really test a mama’s sanity!

Some of the biggest symptoms that I have to deal with are migraines, sleeping way to many hours or sleeping not enough hours. I’m not sure which one of those is worse on my family. What I can share is how I have dealt with some of these things over the past few weeks, and some for months.

My biggest ally is my tub! My tub is my biggest escape from stress. Add some aromatherapy and it can be bliss! One of my favorite essential oils is Joy. Can you imagine just a couple drops from a little brown bottle making all the difference in your day? Well this one really makes a huge difference in me when I’m having signs of depression. I wear this one as purfume on most days, but on those extra hard days I do something special.

What you will need:

  • 5 drops Joy Essential Oil Blend
  • 1/4 Cup Coconut Oil
  • 1/4 Cup Unscented Body Wash

Take these 3 ingredients and whip them with your mixer until they become a nice, thick bath foam. Add a couple table spoons to your bath and relax! Store in a glass container.

 

Some of the other oils that I have been using are Stress Away Roll-on, Peace and Calming, and En-R-Gee.

When I’m having one of “those moments” where I really just want to scream, I grab my Stress Away Roll-On and roll in across my wrists. I like to smell this one because its a warm vanilla scent. It almost instantly calms whatever is going on in my head. I can’t speak highly enough about this oil blend! I want to sniff it all day! And sometimes I just uncap it and take a nice whiff. Its so luxurious!

Peace and Calming is an oil blend that we have been using to calm my daughter from her nightmares and get her back to sleep in the middle of the night. I take a drop and rub it into her feet and on her wrists. She likes to keep her wrists near her nose so that she can inhale the scent, which calms her until she can fall asleep. Normally this only takes a few minutes. So mama keeps this one on her bed side table for the same exact thing. I use this oil almost every night on myself to help me sleep. Or when I wake up in the middle of the night and cant’ seem to calm my brain from talking to itself.

Now on those nights that I’ve been up reading the Hunger Games Trilogy or just can’t seem to get enough sleep, I use En-R-Gee. You know that mama’s work is never done, so I certainly need a pick me up. I can’t say that this oil smells amazing to me, because it doesn’t. Not to start with anyways. It takes a few minutes, then I start searching for that yummy scent. A lot of oil blends are like that, kind of like perfume they change with your body chemistry. Anyways, on to the story. When I use this oil blend, I kinda look back at my day and see all of the extra things that I’ve done without noticing that I had that much energy to do them. I don’t feel like I’ve drank one of those energy drinks that everyone is talking about, or even a cup of coffee. I just have natural energy that helps me get through the day. I just have to make sure that I don’t use this too late in the day, or I will be reading until 4am again!

I can’t say enough about these oils and combating my depression. It has helped tremendously. The hardest thing for me is to remember to pick them up and use them. I keep these and a few more sitting in places that I know I will use them most often. I keep En-R-Gee on my desk, and Peace and Calming beside my bed. I think that is what’s essential to using them when you need them most, keep them handy. It’s always the simple things, right?

 

You can find all of these oils on the Depression Relief Page.

Time for Change

The only thing that remains constant is change. Or at least that’s what I’ve always been told. Here in Alabama, spring is in the air. I can almost smell the chocolate Easter candy! (oops did you give up chocolate for Lent?! sorry!) The kids are wanting to stay outside to plan a garden in the afternoons, or play baseball, or even just to hang out. I can’t blame them with the warm breezy days.

For me the world is covered in pollen! So I stay inside a lot, but its hard to resist being out in this great sunshine we are having, or sitting out on the back porch with one of the spring showers we get a lot of days. Don’t you love spring showers?!

Anyways, with Spring upon us here I’ve gotten to thinking about doing a lot of changing. Growing. I gave up stress for Lent. You know what, I didn’t think I could do it. Especially with one kid getting hurt at school and requiring emergency dentist and hospital trips. That was a pretty stressful day, but you know I stayed in control and tried to laugh at the folly of it all. I think that I did pretty well.

Growing. We are wanting to move our garden this year. The kids are preparing a tomato bed. Using composted hay and cow manure must be quite fun for the 10 year old daughter and 12 year old son. They’d rather play with that in the afternoons than watch TV! Amazing huh?! As for me, I’d really like to try to do a raised bed this year. But we are just in the planning stages right now. I’m trying to find some old lumber so that I don’t put a lot of money into it, because if we like it I can add to it next year right?

Moving. For about a year I have really tried to move. As a family we all fought a move out of state, but for me I thought it would be best. I didn’t want to change. I really didn’t want to. I even tried to start a new blog. It just doesn’t work. So I’m in the process of changing this blog to something that I love and moving the new content from the newer blog here. Changes are something that I don’t like. Especially when I haven’t thought everything through. And believe me I’ve been thinking about this for 6 months. Just coming back to where I began. Well not really…I began several blogs, but this is home. So you will start to see a lot of changes here.

Learning. I have so many things that I’m learning about right now. I’m learning and teaching about essential oils. I can’t tell you how much I love these oils! I’m learning about how to use oils for more than just making the house smell good when I clean, which is all I really knew they were good for.

Teaching. Teaching my family and friends and just about anyone who will listen (or read) about how to use oils for things like migraines, allergies, skin conditions, ear infections, pink eye, etc…Really I could go on and on. I promise I will be teaching you these things if you are willing to listen er..read. In fact, I’m finishing up an e-book on how to use essential oils for migraines. Its been a life changer for not only myself but for my whole family.

Is it time for changes in your life? Do you feel the start of spring and think that its time to turn over a new leaf? I can’t wait to hear what changes you are making!

Bittersweet Valentines

❤ ❤ ❤ Happy Valentines Day ❤ ❤ ❤
Creative Commons License photo credit: LadyDragonflyCC – TY for 300,000 Views!!!!

Valentines is upon us, and this year as it is most years for me it is very bittersweet. My father’s 82nd birthday would have been a few days ago. Many different holidays are bittersweet for me because of my father and so many struggles that I’ve had over the years.

For many years I spent Valentines day alone, or with a girl friend. The pain that comes with this day of love is immense for those that don’t have a special someone to spend the day with, or maybe that that special person doesn’t see you in the same light, or even they are away on business or even at war. Oh boy, I just realized that I’ve experienced all of these and probably more over the years.

What I think a lot of people fail to remember is that Valentines is about love. No one said that Valentines was about love between a man and woman, right? Lust is NOT love.

My oldest son has found love. But its a very young love. It reminds me so much of how his father and I were as teenagers. Do I believe that this love with last? I believe it has great potential to last a lifetime if they treat this love as they should in the eyes of God. Mary and Joseph made it right? Yes, I may be a hopeless romantic, but I know that true love exists.

When I give my heart I give it all. Do you? Do you hold back your love? Are you afraid of being hurt? I can not tell you how heartbroken I’ve been in the past, but God healed my heart and sent me an amazing man. Although this holiday is very bittersweet for me, I have found a very happy life that is full of love. I’m surrounded by a large family that loves each other, this is more than I could have ever asked for from anyone!

I want you to take the day to remember all of your loved ones. Say a prayer for each of them, asking God for his blessings in each of their lives. Thank God for the love that he has brought into your life with family and friends. Thank God for those struggles that he has brought you through to show you what love really is.

Get creative to get over those obstacles!

Climbing
Creative Commons License photo credit: bortescristian

If 6 years as a single mom of 3 taught me anything, it was that I can do anything if I set my mind to it. Better yet, “I can do anything through Christ who Strengthens me.” Phillipians 4:13

It was after 10PM tonight before the tech was finished replacing parts to our (internet) satellite. We’ve been tethering our phones to our computers for internet service for months now. That brought on a lot of obstacles that we needed to overcome. The price was right, compared to the monthly service of the satellite service and repairs that we needed. Tonight I’m elated to have real internet!

We also have a water heater that won’t stay lit. Hot water is something that we take for granted. But every time we stop to thank God for this luxury, the thing works. It’s like a miracle! We decided a few days ago to replace our propane gas water heater with electric when we have the money. For now we are going to heat water on our stove if the pilot light won’t stay lit, go to a relatives for showers, shower at work (my husband) or just go without. Sometimes, you do what you have to do, right?

We have one obstacle after another in life. Since our marriage we seem to have had more than our fair share, but everything always works itself out.

Today, maybe you’re reading this and thinking to yourself that your bank account is low, or maybe you are being tested in a different way. What are you going to do to get past this bump in the road? For some things I’ve found that prayer works better than anything, but sometimes the answer to prayer is God wanting you to get creative. Do you need to find a part time job? Do you need to step away from a situation, or even a person that’s causing great pain? Maybe stress has you so overwhelmed that you have a laundry list of things that are going on in your life. Get creative with your answer, and make it work!

If you believe in yourself, that’s 2 that believe in you. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, you always have God looking down at you and believing that YOU are worth Christ dying on the cross. So ask for help. Ask God, your family and friends, whomever you think that may can help you come up with an answer. Now don’t go looking for a handout! That’s not what I’m saying. Sometimes asking for help can bring you to a new job, or just new advice that you need to hear.

Take that first step and get yourself out of that rut and over that obstacle to a better day, week or even a lifetime of happiness.