Eccentric

ec·cen·tric
(k-sntrk, k-) n.

1. One that deviates markedly from an established norm, especially a person of odd or unconventional behavior.
If no other word describes me, eccentric does. I’ve never felt like I fit the cookie cutter of any one group. I’ve tried to be alot of things that I am not in my lifetime. Growing up in a small private school, nearly everyone was very conservative. I tried to fit in most of the time, but I could never pull off conservative like the others. I’d wear the traditional t-shirt and jeans but I’d pull it off with some really blood read lipstick. I’d wear my black derby hat with something outlandish that I borrowed from a cousin. I’d wear a crochet vest with a really dressy silk skirt. Once I wore a sweater in a pretty orange, with yellow and green trim with the most wild leggings you’ve ever seen in your life. I hate people staring at me in outfits like that.
Maybe in other places its ok to be different. Maybe everyone is different. Here I’m eccentric. I’m a little off from the center. I wear 130 dollar flip flops because they don’t hurt my feet, not because they are attractive. They aren’t that attractive. I use reusable grocery bags when no one else does. At the mention of them, my groceries are double and triple bagged in plastic.
I want a red leather sectional. Two actually. Just because I love anything that’s red and leather. I’m not a pet lover, yet I have a dog, 2 cats, 4 chickens and about a dozen cows right now. Nope I don’t like animals. I’d never addopt an animal, although all of my animals have been adopted except 1 chicken and the cows.
If I think of my animals I want to be a vegetarian. I’ve killed animals before as a sport. I like to shoot guns, and I”m good at it. I can’t hit anything if I think about it.
I’m a Christian, and I would love to be one of those youth leaders with Pink hair. If I had pink hair, I would really be called a phreak here. Yep I spelled that wrong on purpose.
I have champagne taste and a beer budget. Make that water. If I could have what I wanted, I’d have the latest in electronics, and everything would be ran by solar and wind power.
I hate tired veggies. You know the ones you find at the super market. I have a wonderful Farm and could grow most everything right here, but I hate being out in the heat. I’m great when the weather isn’t 90 degrees and up, but then I want to be inside.
I’m deathly afraid of the water, yet I’m most happy when I’m touching it.
I want my house filled with the latest electronics and antiques along with green products.
I find myself wanting to save the world, yet I know in my heart of hearts that God is coming soon so why bother?
I know that I’m going to heaven, although some of my life choices are not to his liking.
I love to give advice, but I rarely take my own to heart. My friends talk to me about things they wouldn’t tell anyone else. I tell them things too about myself. I feel ashamed for dumping on anyone, yet find it impossible not to do.
I love my children more than words can describe, yet sometimes I really want them out of my hair NOW! I’m so proud that they all believe in God. My kids make me proud daily, even if they bug the snot out of me.
There are only a few people in my life that I never want to see or hear from again. The others I still love although I never hear from them.
I have no one in my life that’s not related or Scott, that I feel like I can really let my hair down. The ones that I have in the past really burned me at some point, and will never get that privilege again. I have a few close friends online that are privy to my every thought, yet we’ve never met.
When I think of my life’s accomplishments I don’t see a lot, yet I want my legacy to be filled with love and joy. I’m always looking for approval and acceptance, and sometimes I ask for it on purpose because I need to hear it for me.
I write this because of many different reasons. I know today, that I didn’t fit in any group of people that I talked to, yet I am a part of all of them. I’ve never been the popular one, the one that’s been in trouble, the one that’s been asked to lead their children, nor the mother that everyone envies. I’ve never been the mom with the coolest car, or the one that came up with the coolest game, or the one that dressed appropriately for the task at hand. I’ll never be one of those cookie cutter people that knows just what to say, or what picture to hang where, or even when to keep my mouth shut.
I can only be me. I can have pink hair, and red leather flip flops to wear Christmas Day. I can drive the car that no one wants. I can raise my kids to be different than all of the others. I can wear nothing but skirts for a month. I can never get my hair cut, then all of a sudden cut 8 inches without a word. I can sleep with confidence that there’s a gun in my bathroom, bedroom and two in the laundry room. I will love that I know as much or more about some things than the average person, and that I can talk someone through their problems at the drop of a hat. I can be the mom that one kid’s class loves and the others really don’t care one bit. I can be the only mom that shows up to field day and rolls around in the grass with the kids while playing tug of war. I can even be the one that tells them to tackle the star football player, and the do it…and do it well! I can be the one that calls you out when you are wrong, and tiptoe around the fact that you hurt my feelings for months before I do it. I can be me.
I can be me. Myself. I.
I want this life to be simple. I want it to me my simple life. I want it to be a simple living blog that shows my simple life. My life isn’t always simple. Is anyones? It is my life. This blog is where I show me, like it or not. I”m eccentric. I know that I am. I’m quirky about things. Its ok. It’s only me.


Comments

  1. Wow! Great post.

  2. Wow! Great post.

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